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Conflict Resolution

April 25, 2018

 

The key to personal peace is to resolve all conflicts. Almost all conflicts arise from a state of "I am right!" (and you are wrong appended to it). And even one were truly and totally right, it might be useful to resolve the conflict and make peace. That a conflict exists is reason enough to resolve it - for one's own sake. And the first step is to introspect and be aware of the "I am right!" That awareness itself will help make it easier to handle the conflict.

It isn't that one is angry, irritated, upset with anything or anyone else. Why? The answers are all within for all those. Anger, irritation and upsets are created from expectations. Expectations are personal. So, if I'm upset, I'm responsible. Evaluating my expectations to check is they're justified, will help. If expectations comefrom a sense of entitlement, then they're inappropriate.

If, repeat IF, they're justified and fair, then it's upto me to inspire and support others who can fulfil the expectations.

And yes, whether justified and fair - I alone cannot be the judge. I need to take inputs from others, and view multiple perspectives.

Even if I'm upset I can choose to be kind always. If I'm not AWARE, I allow anger to take over. Understanding the expectations beneath the anger, helps me communicate better, and more importantly, kindly. Maybe not easy initially and with awareness, I can be as kind as I can be, always.

And if I feel that I haven't been kind, then it's best that I apologise to whoever I wasn't kind to, and rededicate myself to being kind in future. Even if my expectation is justified and fair.

Closing with what's becoming my pet theme in life, "Choose to be kind, compassionate, gentle and loving with all, even in conflict situations." That probably will enhance the chances of being that way with myself who is my most strident critic. Life is as beautiful as I choose to think it is.