The bedrock on which one can build the foundation of a purposeful life, is to love and accept oneself exactly as one is. And this might fly immediately in the face of notions, thoughts and beliefs that there are countless things that you need to change about yourself - from appearance and health, to thinking, attitudes, behaviours and such. And one of the most important aspects that people, maybe even you, find difficult to come to terms with is their own past behaviour! And in such a situation, saying that "loving and accepting oneself EXACTLY as one is" is the bedrock, might seem illogical and quite frankly to some very far fetched.
If you knew that you believed every word that you heard or read, would you choose to be careful and aware of what you see, hear or read? And since thoughts are words, would you choose to be aware and appropriate in your thinking? Of yourself, others, and life itself?
The "unconscious" or "subconscious" within is extremely powerful - however it is child like in its innocence (and ignorance - since both signify lack of knowledge - another article on this has been written - titled "Innocence Vs. Ignorance.") It believes everything that one thinks about themselves. It also believes what one hears about themselves, and accepts it as the truth. It does not know humour - it takes everything as the truth. Why? Every thought creates a neural pathway. And the more one thinks the same thought, the stronger the pathway is. And it becomes a belief.
Dr Joseph Murphy in "The power of your subconscious mind” at Page 82, states:
"To AFFIRM is to state that it IS so. As you maintain this attitude of mind as true, regardless of all evidence to the contrary, you will receive an answer to your prayer. Your thought can only affirm, for even if you deny something, you are actually affirming the presence of what you deny. Repeating an affirmation, knowing what you are saying and why you are saying it, leads the mind to that state of consciousness where it accepts that which you state as true. Keep on affirming the truths of life until you get the subconscious reaction that satisfies.”
The truth is that there is always some self-talk that is going on (Even while reading this, you are reading it aloud within your head.) Sometimes, you are aware of the self-talk, and others, you are not. This self-talk normally is aimed at making sure that you are “kept in check.” Given that the self-preservation is hard coded, it is likely that the self-talk also is aimed at ensuring that you are safe, sound and get what you want. However, the manner in which the self-talking takes place is a learned thing. All of us learn how to speak from those around us. And this speaking leads to words, which are the basis of thoughts we think. So, the language is something that we must be aware of.