Conflicts can be anywhere!
Frame of mind, most likely, in conflict situations
I am right!
You are wrong!
You ought to do what I am telling you to!
By deduction, I want to win – and you to lose!
This makes one another push each other back, and leads to further conflict! Remember: Whatever one resists, persists! What one accepts, disappears!
Almost always, the stronger person wins, and not always with the most optimal solution
Remember: One CANNOT “win a fight in a relationship!” – the moment one is fighting, they have lost. And winning a fight only means I have created a future disgruntled opponent!
Simple techniques for managing any kind of conflict:
Listen to understand:
feelings first, data next
active, inspiring listening (no interruptions)
clarify understanding (no rebuttals)
Communicate to explain (feelings first, data next):
Negotiate inspiringly and fairly:
be clear about “Must haves”
be flexible with the “nice to haves”
let go of the “bells and whistles”
the answer is somewhere in the middle
Clarify and recap understanding:
Thank the other
“There is an immutable conflict at work in life and in business, a constant battle between peace and chaos. Neither can be mastered, but both can be influenced. How you go about that is the key to success.”