What is love? Or hate? Focus on self & grow!

This is an exchange that took place between a Client and me, on WhatsApp and phone. This took place a while ago. I requested the Client’s permission to share this exchange, with others, in an article. I mentioned to them that there were some messages in this exchange that I thought might be useful for others as well. And the Client accepted and acceded to my request. Hence, with gratitude to my client, and to the Universe, I share these messages.

Client: Request you to pray for me to accept whatever is happening now, in my life, with humility.

Cheenu: I will. And I’ll pray and request that the Universe send as much strength as is possible to you.

A suggestion though, without asking you about the details of the situation you are in, I suggest that asking yourself a simple question might be useful, “Is this the best use of my time and talent in this planet?” And while you are at it, affirm to yourself, “I trust the Divine Universe and its plan for me.”

Client: In the past few months my partner’s behaviour to me has changed a lot.

Cheenu: In what way?

Client: Initially it was irritation in whatever I do. I tried my level best to understand what was expected of me. Now, I am being completely ignored. I did not have a clue as to what is happening. Every little thing about me seems to be found annoying. I do not know what to do, or what not to do. What can I do for them?

Cheenu: Nothing. Let them work things out. You focus and work on yourself

Cheenu: The message sent yesterday from my Whatsapp, is probably a message for all of us.

Be Selfish, totally selfish!

Even though those words were typed out by my fingers, they’re quite pristine to be “mine!” sharing, with gratitude and humility.

A thought that came to me, as always from the ever benevolent Universe

Be selfish! Focus only on oneself! Forget and disregard everything and everyone else!

Be selfishly focused totally on one’s own growth to being a person with total and all-encompassing integrity, honesty, kindness and compassion!

And when that’s done, nothing and none else will matter, which is probably one definition of selfishness, for then, one becomes the true replica of the all giving, ever loving, powerfully benevolent Universe! So, go ahead, be selfish!

Cheenu: If I don’t like someone, I’ll find a lot of things to complain about. Conversely, if I like someone, I’ll find things to appreciate. It’s about perspective. Don’t bother too much about that. It is a phase and they are going through their own journey.

The question is, when they started to love you initially, what did they love about you? And do you know that? Are you the same person today? Or have you changed? Most people don’t love a person, they love something about that person.

And added to that, when you loved them initially, what did you love about them? Do you know that? And are they the same person today? Have they changed? And as with what I said about them, it is likely that you loved something about them at that point in time. And ask yourself, has this changed?

Client: I am not able to understand such a feeling – I do not understand what you mean when you say love anymore.

Cheenu: Love or hate, is not permanent. A person loves something about another person and they get attached to that quality or aspect of that person. Over time, this attachment, might be termed as love. This attachment is not to the person, but to our way of thinking. And this attachment is then labelled as love for another. Finally, is only love for ourselves that matters. If I love myself, I’ll love everyone and everything else. So, my suggestion to you, focus on loving yourself, totally and completely. Exactly as you were, are and will be!

Client (after a fair bit of silence): I think this what we need to teach kids – to learn to love themselves. The biggest gift we can give them. You are right! I think I am looking at all the negatives in myself as well and not loving myself as I ought to.

Cheenu: You can’t teach anyone anything! Mohandas Gandhi said, “My life is my message!” So, if anything, I have to live it, and inspire another. No amount of teaching is useful. Teaching might, at best, create an environment that might be conducive for fresh thoughts and ideas to come in. None can be taught anything. And adopting a very philosophical approach – who am I or anyone to teach anyone anything? All knowledge resides in the Universe and every being has the capacity to attain that knowledge. So, a teacher, at best, opens up the thinking process that the answers are within. And that one needs to focus on oneself. And be loving (therefore forgiving and accepting), kind, gentle and compassionate with oneself. And if that can be achieved, being loving (therefore forgiving and accepting), kind, gentle, compassionate with others.

Cheenu: My suggestion to you, sit down and affirm this, “I love and accept myself exactly as I was, am and will be!” Loving oneself is the most important and best gift that one can give to themselves. So, start with that! Forget about them and everyone else. Each being is on its own journey.

Client: Thank you so much.

Cheenu: The relationship at the level of the body is transient and impermanent. That doesn’t mean we forget our karma to do what is appropriate and necessary. It means that we do that, without being overly attached to it. And yet acknowledge that each being is on its own journey. And we focus on our journey, ourselves and our growth.

And an integral and primary part of that growth is to “love and accept myself exactly as I was, am and will be!” that’s the way our Creator would love us. If the concept of a “God” or a “Creator” is difficult or tenuous to comprehend or understand, just loving oneself their mother would love them would be a HUGE start! And a mother loves, without any judgment, expectations, and will support us in anything we do. So, to be like a Mother, we need to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are.

So a simple affirmation, “I love and accept myself exactly as I was, am and will be!” as often as you can, and a minimum 36 repetitions, thrice daily, affirmed with the greatest, love, acceptance, kindness, sincerity and compassion will be most useful.

And when you affirm that, if anything comes up, from the past and you feel, how can I love and accept myself when I’ve either thought, said or done something like this, just say, “even though I’ve thought, said or done this, I still love and accept myself exactly as I was, am and will be!”

And the beauty about this exchange of thoughts and words between us, has taught me many invaluable lessons. I’m sure that I am only the conduit. Those messages did not come from me, they came through me. And I am as much a recipient of these messages as you are. And it is very useful for me to remember that.